Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (CBT) is essentially reprogramming of the heart through deliberate actions of the will. This often involves exposure in facing one's fears, reframing situations in a healthy perspective, and calling out your heart for what it is and retraining it through repeated actions. This process takes time but has proven transformative results. While CBT strategies differ from person to person depending on their situation, the goal is that you would "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Rom. 12:2).

Notice the order of things in that verse. Transformation comes after and is a result of the mind being renewed. So many Christians, in expecting this order to be the other way around, are hoping, wishing, and praying for transformation in order to feel differently. In a self-defeating fashion they are following their hearts instead of leading their hearts, therefore not only are they not retraining it, but they are solidifying it in its defunct way of processing, thus prolonging their misery.

Christians are often hesitant or resistant to apply CBT methods because they feel they are man's way and not God's way. I would argue quite the contrary. CBT is man's discovery of God's instructions from old and I intend to show that here. CBT takes time and deliberate effort and is often quite uncomfortable, so without a strong conviction these methods are indeed biblical, many Christians won't stick it out long enough for it to be successful and yield results.

To be clear, what I am referring to as the "heart" is not your aortic pump in your chest, but is often the biblical reference used to describe what today scientists call the Limbic system which is a group of interconnected structures in your brain that help regulate your emotions and feelings. Therefore at times, I may interchange the terms brain and heart, depending on context. The term 'heart' seems to be the most relatable and overarching term used in scripture, though often it is interchanged with other descriptors in the bible such as 'soul' as found in Psalms 42 & 43 where the author frustrated with his soul for being in despair despite having good reason not to be. Likewise Asaph, in Psalms 77 laments that his "soul refused to be comforted". In both of these cases (and there are many in scripture) they identified the part of them that is working contrary to themselves and there is a distinction made. I intend to make that same distinction.

Studies have shown that the brain, when it learns for the first time how to process something, creates a neural pathway. This can be physically seen through brain scans. When that pathway is first established it's quite small and insignificant. But as that person's life encounters the same experience therefore resulting in the same neural pathway being used, that pathway becomes established. The more that training is repeated (good or bad), the more the pathway becomes solidified. Synapses follow the path of the least resistance. When an event is encountered that has been encountered before, the brain will default to previously established pathways instead of making new ones. When an event is very similar to a previous experience, the brain may process it using part or all of the previously established neural pathway but differ to the degree the event differs.

You might picture it like a series of roads. Alleys lead to rural roads, that lead to highways, that lead to freeways. Neural pathways that are first established are barely an off-road trail. As that neural pathway becomes more used it becomes trodden down and easier to travel, after continual use a road becomes established, and frequent use that road is developed into a highway and eventually a multi-lane freeway to accommodate the high amount of traffic. By the time a person reaches their later years, many highways and freeways have been established that they process stuff without thinking about it. This is what is known as being "set in our ways". In other words, we autopilot based on previous experiences and no longer have to figure out which way to go. This can be an advocate or an adversary.

The emotional center of the brain (i.e. heart) is quite fascinating, and properly trained in the way to process stuff, it can actually be our advocate. I believe this is what is being referred to in Proverbs 22:6 which states "train up a child in the way he should go, even when he grows older he will not abandon it". (Notice it says "train", not teach, this is a shaping of the heart, not the brain). Children in their early years are the most impressionable and easiest to train. If trained properly, when they are older, the neural pathways established when they were young will be their default way of processing when they are older. If a child's heart for example is trained that they're unconditionally loved through repeated experience at the hands of their parents, that same pathway will much more easily be the default when they process how God feels toward them and scripture of unconditional love will more easily resonate with them. Unfortunately, I believe just the opposite is true. If you train a child in an unhealthy environment, they too, when they are older, will not so easily depart from that default to that way of processing. If a child only experiences merit-based acceptance, their hearts will default to feeling God's acceptance has similar stipulations...even when they intellectually know better. If that same child's heart is trained it's never good enough with their parents, that way of processing will carry over into their other relationships and especially their relationship with God and intellectual reasoning won't help for this is not an intellectual issue, but it's a matter of the heart.

Can retraining happen when we're older? Absolutely! As the saying goes "Who says you cannot teach an old dog new tricks?" Sorry for the crude reference, but it's applicable. Studies have shown that new neural pathways continue to be created even in the most elderly. The difference between children and adults is adults have to relearn, while children have the advantage of learning for the for first time. Therefore those who are older have to contend with previously established ways of processing where children have the advantage of a clean slate. Furthermore, unlike children who are under the tutelage of their parents and have no choice but to undergo their training, adults are free agents and therefore have to be much more involved in retraining themselves. I hire a therapist, who meets with me once every couple of months, just to help me reinforce the new ways of thinking we previously established. It's not that they help me learn a new thing, but offer an outside influence to help me stay calibrated on the new way of thinking. It's training, not education, that's important.

On that note, I would strongly encourage you to find an appropriate therapist. As scripture says "a wise man seeks counsel" (Prov. 12:15). It's not necessarily that you need to learn, learning is not the issue here. Training is what's crucial. The Apostle Peter understood this importance. He wrote letters specifically to this end. "Therefore, I will always be ready to remind you of these things, even though you already know them and have been established in the truth which is present with you. I consider it right, as long as I am in this earthly dwelling, to stir you up by way of reminder, (1 Pet. 1:12-13).

Since we cannot control what our hearts feel, reasoning with the heart is as futile as it was for the author of Psalms 42 & 43. If a person could control their own heart and what they feel illegal drugs would become obsolete as we would all just tell our hearts to be happy and joyful and problem solved. But as they say, the heart has a mind of its own and therefore we cannot teach it, but we can choose where it goes with us. We can lead our hearts. This is essentially at the heart of CBT, and it's indeed biblical. Consider Jesus's instructions and explanation:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body; so then, if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. So if the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!" - Matthew 6:19-23

Jesus here is teaching in regards to wealth but take special note of verse 21 which states "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." This is so contrary to our way of thinking. We chase what our hearts treasure, but Jesus is actually saying you deliberately change what you treasure and your heart will follow. We lead our hearts, not follow them, and in so doing, our hearts actually change to align with our actions. Jesus is saying to change what you treasure and your heart will have to follow. The world's advice is "follow your heart", "trust your gut", and "let peace be your guide", such teachings, if practiced actually keep you in bondage.

Scripture says "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick" (Jer. 17:9). Do we really want to follow such a leader? If someone trustworthy told you that your neighbor was "more deceitful than all else" would you heed their advice? Of course not. Equally important it is that we no longer listen to our hearts.

"One who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but one who walks wisely will flee to safety." - Proverbs 28:26

Notice the separation that both Jesus and Solomon show between one's feelings and one's actions. These are two independent agents. You are NOT your heart!!! I can't stress that enough. Your heart is not you. It's important to recognize this and call it out for what it is, otherwise, you'll identify with the defunct feelings your heart is throwing up at you. If your heart says "You are guilty" but God says "I've made you innocent" your heart needs to be recognized for its defunct state. This doesn't mean you'll feel different, after all, feelings are in the realm of your heart, but through consistent invalidation of the heart you begin to silence its alarms that have been so previously established as you begin to nurture this new way of processing you'll begin to experience being transformed by the renewing of your mind. Jesus didn't say to change what your heart wants, He said to change what you invest in and your heart will be there also.

Furthermore, Jesus speaks of the eye being the lamp of the body. What does the eye represent? Where our focus is. If it spends its time focused on "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable...excellent..worthy of praise" (Phil. 4:8) your body will be full of light. But if the focus is on what is bad, evil, and of bad report, and worthy of condemnation your heart will be equally affected by that too. Even the world has often recognized "the power of positive thinking". This too is a biblical concept as illustrated in that verse. Similarly, in Colossians 3:2 Paul writes "Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on the earth". Peter, when He was focused on Jesus, walked on water, but when He was focused on the wind, he became frightened, and that is when he began to sink.

Side note: As it was with Peter, so it is with you. Your salvation is not contingent on any of this, that is secure in Christ alone. Peter was never going to be eternally lost that day, and as it was with Peter, so it is with us, our position in Christ cannot be affected, whether walking on water or sinking, Christ has you (Mat. 14:31). But applying this biblical wisdom will make a difference in enjoying it.

Psalms 77 is another great example of proper application. The first 10 verses of Psalms 77 is Asaph lamenting the feelings of his heart. When Asaph thinks of God, it is then that He is disturbed. He feels so troubled that he cannot speak, and as his arm is stretched out begging for help day and night, at God's seemingly silence, He concludes that God must have either "forgotten to be gracious", or He has "in anger withdrawn His compassion". Psalms 77 is 20 verses in total. The first 10 are Asaph describing the deep despairings of His heart, the second 10 verses lack something I had hoped they would have. The second 10 verses have no heroic showing up of God to fix things. Yet this is what I'm sure his arm was stretched out for day and night. Likely this is your constant request also. I know it was mine.

Yet if you read Psalms 77 there is a wonderful deliberate refocusing that happens despite how he feels. Asaph is being deliberate to take his gaze off of his woes, and purposely putting his eyes back on God, and chooses to count his blessings. We don't see anything change in Asaph's life, nor do we see God show up in some miraculous way. But after Asaph cries out his present despairing heart, you actually see him deliberately choose to remove his eyes from that and put them back on the blessings he knows. Many people have written me testifying of the faithfulness and work of God in their lives, but often their gaze is clearly on the despairing woes of their hearts and those blessings are often a very brief honorable mention. What they want from me is similar to what they want from God. Someone to show up, and fix the hurt, pain, agony, and torment. While I recognize and have experienced the deep agony and torment it is, I believe if God had shown up and fixed me the way I wanted to be fixed, it would have only perpetuated things in the long run.

I too used to be quick to try and uproot the fears of those who've written me. Knowing the agony they were in, empathy compelled me too. Yet what I found is I was becoming their drug dealer. And while they found relief for a moment and their hearts were settled for a time, by addressing that very thing I validated their heart's alarm when it really needed to be ignored and thereby invalidated. By so doing I was working alongside the sufferer and we were both exasperating their problem. Like a drug addict, they would come to me again for relief, but this time they needed more of the "drug" in order to feel better. I thought I was helping them by giving them it...but like a drug dealer, I was only furthering the addiction. What they need, what we need, is to stop the drugs. What they call "needing a fix" and what they actually need are two different things. So it is with us.

This is often why CBT fails. When a person first tries, things get worse, like a druggie going through nasty withdraws they will feel considerably worse for it in the beginning and because of that they conclude it's a bad idea. They are trusting in their hearts at this moment (Prov. 28:26), letting their feelings govern their choices. That's why I said CBT takes time.

John the Baptist let his feelings get the better of him, so know you're not alone. The same John who lept in his mother's womb when Jesus was near now was in jail and destined to be beheaded. With his eyes on his circumstance, despairing, he sent word by way of his disciples and plainly asked Jesus "Are you the One, or should we be looking for someone else?" (Mat. 11:2). Notice in that story Jesus didn't drop everything to go to him, if he had, I think it could have destroyed John's faith. Rather what did Jesus do? He told John's disciples to go and testify to what you see here, that the blind receive sight, those who limp walk, those with leprosy are cleansed, those who are deaf hear, and the dead are raised, and the poor have the gospel preached to them (Mat. 11:4-5). Jesus offered what John needed most, a reminder, a refocusing on what John already knew to be true. Like with Asaph, and with us, John didn't need a fix, he needed a refocus on truth. If Jesus had dropped everything to come and rescue John it could have destroyed John's faith (and many others). For it would have testified to all that God, much like Asaph was feeling, that God indeed forgot or didn't care about what was happening in John's life. I believe this is why Jesus turned to the crowd and testified that among those born among women, there was nobody greater than John the Baptist so that nobody would conclude that Jesus not going meant that He felt John wasn't worth it. The same is true with us. The lack of a visit or intervention from God may make us feel unworthy, forgotten, forsaken, but that is far from the truth. As such a response would have made things worse with John, so it is with us. And God, in His perfect wisdom, knows exactly what you need and is willing to be faithful to that no matter how much we act out, cry out, and plead for a "fix".

CBT might be likened to changing from being our own worst enemy to becoming our own dear friend. Scripture says "Bad company corrupts good morals" (1 Cor. 15:33). From this we can glean some things. First, no matter how convicted you are on what is true, if you're around bad company that is to the contrary they will eventually prevail against your morals and corrupt you. Notice that the verse does not state "bad company corrupts good morals if you let them" but rather it absolutely will happen given enough time in their fellowship. In other words, you can know all the right answers and all the right things, and yet your heart can be corrupted through repeated exposure to bad influences regardless of those convictions. However, I believe the reverse to be true as well. I have seen people involuntarily stop cussing around me because their hearts were trained (I care little if people cuss, I never address it). I remember a coworker slammed his shoulder into a door and he screamed "Ah poop!" We both paused and looked at each other surprised as that wasn't normal when he belted out "Dang it Ryan you're wearing off on me!". Last week I overheard a person I meet with regularly for business on the phone with another client cussing up a storm. I smiled, as I never once heard him cuss with me. Counselors offer a similar good influence for us. Unfortunately, we often can be our own worst company. So many times we will allow into our hearts bible verses that speak condemnation, but rarely those that speak grace though we know them to be true. This is what CBT seeks to address.

There is a reason why propaganda works...the enemy knows this and will flood a person through their outward senses that he may change their heart-level feelings about themselves and God. Studies have shown many times over that if one can get you to think a thought, even if you don't believe it, if I can get you to feel it, it will eventually become you. Again bad company corrupts good morals. If you feel it enough times, though you intellectually know it not to be true, your heart will feel it as if it were true. CBT is the process of tearing down these strongholds and is best accompanied by an outside person with a clear perspective who will help you in "taking every thought captive" (2 Cor. 10:5) to recalibrate your heart.

It is not what enters the mouth that defiles the person, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles the person. - Matthew 15:11

Having wrongful feelings is one thing, but validating those feelings through our speech and actions leaves us worse off. For example, a frustrated person, who chooses to not vent but bridles their tongue (Jam. 1:26) becomes less frustrated next time because their heart was never validated. A person frustrated, who vents their frustration will be increasingly more so as time goes on. (On a side note, it's important to be an ear for people, but equally important is to delicately side with them, not their heart.) We can't control how we feel, the heart has a mind of its own, but we can choose what we do with it. Jesus further explains the above statement to his disciples:

But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and those things defile the person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, acts of adultery, other immoral sexual acts, thefts, false testimonies, and slanderous statements. These are the things that defile the person - Matthew 11:18-20a

Just as a person can make themselves worse by validating their hearts, they likewise can make themselves better by not. James admonishes us this way. "For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to rein in the whole body as well." (Jam. 3:2). Notice the order of things. It is not the body that reins in the actions, but the actions that rein in the body. If we yield to our hearts things worsen, but to bridle its outlet (represented by our tongue here) we control everything that follows. A horse may want to go in one direction, but if it is bridled, the control is then in the hands of its owner and the horse goes not where it wants, but where its owner wants, despite what it may want.

Our house was broken into several times growing up, this caused me to be very security-minded, sleeping lightly, prepared for the worst, and unfortunately getting bound up in making sure doors were locked before I went to bed as is common amongst OCD sufferers. If I didn't repeatedly check the doors I would lay down with anxiety over the what-ifs. So often I would check, recheck, go to bed, get up, recheck...sometimes multiple times, all attempting to appease my fearful and anxious heart. Each time I validated this I found it got perpetually worse and spread to other areas of my life like worrying about heaters, etc. When I heard about the success others had through CBT I decided to put it into practice starting with this. I would deliberately go to bed and as much as I wanted to get up and recheck, I wouldn't allow myself to. Man that was tough and my anxiety definitely got worse for a bit. I sometimes would sit, in my bed, worried about if the house is locked, if the shop is locked (we had a separate shop for work). I couldn't control how I felt, but I could make the choice to not go check again...and so I did. I did this for a while and it was agonizing. Actually, I have a dashcam video somewhere I kept (maybe I'll post it someday) of me getting caught in a door lock checking loop for a while at the shop. Ugh, I hated leaving every day as I knew this battle was coming.

It took a few weeks, even months of practicing this and not yielding to the fearful, alarming thoughts my heart was throwing up. Before my heart, invalidated as it was, stopped throwing up the alarms like it did. A person doesn't really notice relief from pain unless it's all at once, the same can be said about improvements through CBT. It wasn't until one day I was halfway down the road that I realized I couldn't remember if I locked the doors, and in the past, I had turned the car around and went back and checked but this time...I didn't care. That surprised me. My heart...was surprisingly okay with this thought.

Now relapses do happen...like an addict, you forgive yourself and get back on the wagon. There were times that I did care suddenly again sometimes I yielded...but knowing the value of invalidating the heart I continued to practice what I had done before and I ignored those things, what I found was the nagging subsided until one day even my wife says to me "You don't seem to struggle like you did before with locking doors". I hadn't told her the plan..honestly, it was embarrassing to talk about...yet here I am publishing it online lol. But it was encouraging that it was noticeable. Since then I've applied this to other tangible things...I was equally shocked to watch myself go from my hang washing regime to one day I remember talking to my wife and eating a sandwich and I looked down and my hands were filthy as I had been outside working. I was surprised that I was in this place with that... and I was surprised I didn't even notice. Part of me was tempted to put it down and wash my hands, but for the greater good for myself, I just finished my sandwich (I'm so heroic). Joking aside, I was enjoying the freedom that came from invalidating my heart and I'd rather eat a sandwich with dirty hands than give it an inch. My wife and I laugh now because she's often the more cautious one by default.

If you watch Jesus, beautifully He helps people reprogram their thinking by asking questions or making them name things He already knows. Jesus often would ask His disciples questions He already knew answers to with the intention of bringing deep-seated errant ways of feeling into the forefront of their minds and then replacing them with new ways of thinking. Even in John 4, when Jesus encountered the Samaritan woman at the well He instructed her to go get her husband knowing full well she didn't have a husband but had had five husbands and the one she was now with was not her husband. Why did he ask that? Because it forced her to bring this shame to the surface in order that He may heal it. Notice it wasn't the theology that made her marvel, it was that He, being a Jew, was willing to openly dialogue with her in front of all to see. If that's not enough, He was willing to share a drink from the same container with her and in those days, the teaching was that even the spit of a Samaritan would defile you. Jesus reframed this woman in her own mind by drawing it out and then changing her experience. In fact, a whole village was saved because of this woman...talk about being restored from shame to honor.

This is why it's important to have someone like Jesus who can help us in the same way. Likewise, it's equally important we preach the gospel to ourselves daily. But having an outside advocate can help us, like Jesus did for this woman, upend some deeply rooted notions we have about ourselves in order to facilitate healing. Therefore I can't stress enough the value of a good counselor to help you navigate these things.

The Apostles struggled with heart-level doubts. By heart-level doubts, I mean the kind you feel, not merely intellectual doubts but emotional doubts, the kind that cannot be reasoned with even with solid evidence. In Luke 24 we find the disciples reeling from having just seen the Lord Jesus crucified. They had put all their marbles into this Basket, and this Basket was killed on a cross. This left them feeling misplaced, scattered, and fearful, as the One whom they put all their hope into...died. Unfortunately, only Mary Magdalene was expecting Jesus to do something more, but the rest of them were worse than those who invested everything they had into the stock market before its collapse.

Then suddenly, Jesus appears right in front of them (Luke 24:36) with a message of peace. Instead of rejoicing, they were terrified, and Jesus asked them "Why are you frightened, and why are doubts arising in your hearts?" (Luke 24:38 emphasis mine). You see, Jesus recognized this was a heart-level battle they were having. This is confirmed by the fact He showed them His hands and His feet (Luke 24:39), and while normally this would convince a person...I mean if someone close to you like your spouse came right back, and showed you the same evidence, what more evidence could you ask for? Yet scripture says of the disciples they still couldn't believe it. Why? This is very interesting, it says specifically "because of their joy and astonishment" (Luke 24:41). This is equivalent to today's saying of "too good to be true". Their joy actually made them unable to believe it. For if it were true, all their hope, joy, and everything they invested is validated, and their Lord who just died just conquered death! What a joyful thing indeed! Do you think they wanted to believe it? Absolutely I'm sure of it. Why couldn't they? Because their heart, be it misplaced, felt this joy before...and then it was crucified. They were crushed. Now this joy is asking to come back in but their heart is associating that with the pain that happened last time they let it back in, and it's refusing.

You can relate, can't you? So can they. Similar damage happens in foster children who've had the security of loving, safe parents stripped away from them, usually more than once as they bounce from home to home. This rip in their heart causes joy to be vetoed by pain. Their hearts starve for affection, for a safe place, but it's so terrified of being hurt again it plays it safe, doesn't open up, refuses to believe when a foster parent shows them love and provides a safe place. This actually makes them uncomfortable and therefore many kids will sabotage the relationship from the start in an attempt to not set up their hearts to be hurt again. It's easier to go on the offensive than be wounded more.

Similarly, those who struggle with emotional doubt steer away from God, from church, reading God's word, things they desperately want and know they need, but things they associate with pain and grief, and therefore avoid. Like Peter after His failure and subsequent bitter wailing (Luke 22:62), they just want to get away and go fishing instead (John 21:3). They may not intellectually do this, but they emotionally associate these things with the wounds they carry. Whether they are self-inflicted wounds, like the disciples above, as none of them heeded Jesus saying they could expect Him to be crucified, or inflicted by others, like foster children betrayed by their parents.

So how does healing happen? Well, let's look to Jesus, the great Physician, to see how He dealt with this with the disciples. "While they still could not believe it because of their joy and astonishment, He said to them, "Have you anything here to eat?" They served Him a piece of broiled fish; and He took it and ate it in front of them." (Luke 24:41-43). If this was merely an intellectual doubt issue what do you think would be more convincing, showing the disciples your hands and feet to prove it is you, or by having a meal with them? If this was merely a need for proof, the former would have worked and the latter would not have been needed. They didn't need answers, they needed retraining. The best thing He could do for them was just spend time with them, letting their hearts absorb the reality of what's going on.

As a parent, there's only one way to help foster children. It's not reminding them of your love, nor is it showing them proof of it. If there is to be help, it's going to have to be continual repeated exposure to it over time. Just like you cannot teach your own heart (though like the Psalmist in 42:5,11 and 43:5 we keep trying to reason with it), you cannot teach a foster child's heart either. You can prove to them through some pretty amazing acts strong evidence of your love for them...but that won't do it. The other foster children can testify of your safety, that's not gonna work. The only way their heart is going to be retrained is through continual, repeated experience, and that takes time and can't be rushed. Jesus was only gone 3 days and the disciples were traumatized. Foster children have years' worth of trauma, therefore healing will take time, but it can happen, as it can with you.

If you can relate to these scars, know this; the disciples were never in danger even when their hearts refused to believe. Why? Because their Salvation had them despite what their hearts may feel. God understands your scars. If I adopt a foster child, does their inability to feel secure in my household mean they are not secure? Is my keeping them rest on their ability to feel I can keep them? Absolutely not. My keeping them is done entirely in my power, and my will, and their scarred hearts not only do not sway me, but they provoke me to grace. When they say things they ought not, or act out, or avoid me, I remember their scars and don't hold it against them. When the disciples could not (notice it doesn't say would not - Luke 24:41) believe, did Jesus walk away? Did He slam his hands on the table and call them out for being ridiculous? Or did He overlook it and continue to enjoy a meal with those He knew were His? In fact, take a look at that recording and you'll find no negative reaction at all from Jesus. Why? Because He was unfazed. He knew their scars, and He knows yours.

As I've emphasized, your security in Christ is as secure as the disciples. But if you're reading this then you're an adult now and healing won't be facilitated by foster parents, though it can be nurtured by proper cultivation, but you have to be an active participant in that now. Seeking help, finding a safe place, a good church, a trusted mentor, even a paid therapist, someone who can continually train your heart in the goodness you already live in. As the disciples were safe, so are you.

Successful retraining of the heart should not be equated to feeling good, happy, or secure. That is part of the snare we are in, we've allowed our feelings to represent what is true to us and have measured our progress by them. On the contrary, retraining is harder at first, feels unsafe, and increases anxiety--our hearts will toss us back and forth as we attempt this because of the scars and associations. That's normal. Let it scream, but no longer give it the attention it's demanding. Identify it for the sick state it is in and be okay with the feelings you're having. What's important is not changing what you feel, but changing what you do. By so doing, new synaptic pathways form in our Limbic system and those old defunct ways of processing become overgrown and less used, and we truly become transformed from who we were by the renewing of our mind.

CBT not only has its value on tangible battles such as the compulsions like mine I mentioned above, but it absolutely applies in the same way to spiritual battles too. Have patience, these things take time. Be deliberate, you will never feel your way out of this. Get an advocate, someone willing to talk with you through these things on a regular basis. And above all else...know these are merely matters of the flesh. Your eternal life cannot be affected no matter how much you fail, your security in Christ is solid. Even if your heart condemns you, greater is He than our hearts and knows all things (1 John 3:20). Your heart does not have the final say on who you are, God does, and the intercession of Christ drowns out the intercession of your heart before the throne of God.

This article has gotten long. For other biblical examples consider how God allowed Satan to sift Peter (Luke 22:31), or how the prodigal didn't appreciate the love He was being shown and still tried to give his penance speech (Luke 15:20-21). Or how Jesus brought to light the Rich Young Ruler's errant way of thinking (Mark 10:21), or how God walked Job through a series of tough, yet reprogramming type questions. CBT style treatment is woven throughout and therefore we should consider its application. After all, if you're here reading this, you've likely tried everything else.

If this resonated with you, here are some other articles you may be interested in:

You Can Teach the Brain but You Train the Heart

Stop Having Faith in Your Feelings

Emotional Reasoning - When the Heart Drowns Out the Mind